Wednesday, March 25, 2009

KEEP SWEET...

ummm yeah, I'm trying to adopt that as my new mantra, it's hard though. The 'keep sweet' I took from the book I've been reading called Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall. She's an ex-FLDS member and throughout the book you find they're told their whole lives to 'keep sweet,' especially the women. 'Keep sweet' is something of a mantra repeated to these girls/women to remind them of their place, their submissive role in marriage. I want you to know I'm not using 'keep sweet' disparagingly. I am using it because I need to 'keep sweet' to God and I need to submit to Him...

I've been dealing with my temperament lately after asking God to help me with my shortcomings. I can tell you that when God starts doing a work in my life He is met with resistance like you have NEVER seen. I hate change and I'm stubborn, but I am grateful that He will NEVER give up on me.

Definition of temperament:

1.a. The manner of thinking, behaving, or reacting characteristic of a specific person: a nervous temperament. See Synonyms at disposition.
b. The distinguishing mental and physical characteristics of a human according to medieval physiology, resulting from dominance of one of the four humors.

2. Excessive irritability or sensitiveness: an actor with too much temperament.

I googled temperament last week and ended up taking some dumb quiz. I say it was dumb, but some of it rang true.

I have a CHOLERIC TEMPERAMENT...

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.


This part rang true... At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion...Lately, I've been at my worst a lot more than I'd care to admit and I am choleric. I'm easy to anger, a hot head and can be very irritable at times. I can also be intolerant, impatient and a pain in the a$$.

I really didn't know what to do with that information. I felt convicted about it, but I didn't know what to do to fix it. However, I happened to pick up one of Lowell's books that I found laying around the house, Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton. I thought this book would be a drag but figured I'd take a looky-loo, and guess what he talks about in chapter 1? Temperament...coincidence? I think not and I'm so glad I picked that book up.

Here is some of what Merton says about temperament:

All temperaments can serve as the material for ruin or for salvation. We must learn to see that our temperament is a gift of God, a talent with which we must trade until He comes. It does not matter how poor or how difficult a temperament we may be endowed with. If we make good use of what we have, if we make it serve our good desires, we can do better than another who merely serves his temperament instead of making it serve him.

He also says:

A tempermentally angry man may be more inclined to anger than another. But as long as he remains sane he is still free not be angry.

I don't always feel sane, but I know I am not certifiable and I am free to choose to not be easily angered.

His inclination to anger is simply a force in his characteristic which can be turned to good or evil, according to his desires. If he desires what is evil, his temper will become a weapon of evil against other men and even against his own soul.

That floored me when I read it, I feel like I have strived for peace for so long but that just isn't true. I am so used to chaos, in and around my life. I yearn for it, albeit subconsciously, but at times consciously too, when it is absent. Probably because I'm restless by nature and sometimes find ordinary life mundane and boring. Creating drama in your life like that is really just an evil desire and I am praying God deliver me from that...Let me restate that, He is delivering me from that I'm just putting up one heck of a fight.

If he desires what is good his temper can become the controlled instrument for fighting the evil that is in himself and helping other men to overcome the obstacles which they meet in the world.

The other part of the quiz that also rang true, and it's true for most, is this: Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love.

Well, I've already got the best love, God loves me no matter what, even when I'm being a drama queen. He loves me and wants an epic, extraordinary life for me. Seriously, what could be better than that?

I'm going to stop fighting the changes and focus on God and the peace He brings and enjoy it for once. And just keep repeating to myself over and over again...'keep sweet.'





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